Thank you, Denny’s:
Denny’s dastardly minds have done it again. The restaurant chain that fries mozzarella sticks between pieces of bread has rolled out more gluttonously cheesy menu items.
The most notable is the Mac n’ Cheese Big Daddy Patty Melt: A burger patty layered with slices of cheese, macaroni and cheese, another layer of cheese, some kind of tomato-based “frisco” sauce and two pieces of buttered-up potato bread. Still hungry? It comes with a side of fries.
You can also get this sandwich with the “super-size cheese option.” You think we’re joking?
This sandwich — which contains 1,690 calories — is part of Denny’s new Cheese Menu. From a Denny’s press release:
“With America consuming around 8.8 billion pounds of cheese annually, Denny’s is answering to the appetites of the nation by introducing a dedicated menu that celebrates all things cheesy.” Other items on their new cheese menu include a strawberry cheesecake milkshake and a cheese-filled omelette drizzled in cheese sauce.
More things Denny’s could add to its new Cheese Menu:
- Sixty-Four Slices Of American Cheese. (We could not find this Simpsons clip on YouTube, but you know which one we’re talking about.)
- Grilled Cheese Smoothies
- Pimento Cheese Big Daddy Alfredo
- Goat Cheese Quesadillas With Crumbled Cheez-It Topping, Served Over A Bed Of String Cheese And Drizzled With Cheese Whiz
- Curdled Cheese (Comes With Free Toy!)
- Intravenous Injections Of Nacho Cheese Straight Into Your Bloodstream
- A Solid Ton Of Cheddar Cheese We Will Release From A Crane Above You Which Will Crush You But It Will Be A Wonderful Death
- Cheese Fondue Swimming Pool Out Back
(The title of this post is, of course, from “30 Rock.”)