sports

This Week In Classy Steeler Behavior

Over the weekend Atlanta police pulled over Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward, who failed a sobriety test and “could not keep his balance and mixed up and omitted letters in the alphabet.” (Apparently Ward thought he was still performing on “Dancing With the Stars.”¹)

NFL players behaving badly is not a surprise, and Ward’s example doesn’t tarnish the Steelers’ reputation any more so than usual. What does tarnish the Steelers’ reputation? James Harrison.

“If that man was on fire and I had to piss to put him out, I wouldn’t do it,” Harrison told the magazine [about NFL commissioner Roger Goodell]. “I hate him and will never respect him.”

His other descriptions of the commissioner include an anti-gay slur, “stupid,” “puppet” and “dictator.”

This is from a Men’s Journal article in its August issue. I wish the reporter had probed Harrison a little more. Maybe ask him a question like, “So are there any circumstances under which you would use your own urine to save a man on fire? Seeing as this scenario is probably something you’re faced with frequently, of course.”

Harrison has since apologized for some of his remarks, saying,

“I also need to make clear that the comment about Roger Goodell was not intended to be derogatory against gay people in any way. It was careless use of a slang word and I apologize to all who were offended by the remark. I am not a homophobic bigot, and I would never advocate intolerance of gay people.”

So, for the record, Harrison is not a homophobic bigot. But Roger Goodell is still a stupid puppet dictator who is also the devil. The gay and lesbian community must be thrilled to have Harrison’s endorsement.

In other Pittsburgh sports news, the Pirates are above .500! And we had two All-Stars, one more than the mandatory quota! The Buccos are a game out of first and might actually be buying at the trade deadline rather than throwing a fire sale. I guess it’s time to suspend the eighteen year pity party I’ve been throwing for myself.

Just imagine if they still had Jose Bautista.

(Whoops. I can’t help it. It’s just habit.)

Let’s! Go! Bucs!

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1. We apologize for this joke’s Jay Leno level of lameness.

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