Friday Recommends, friends, sports

Friday Recommends: Links Edition

– Mr. Andrew Cashmere, known to readers of Paul Daugherty’s TML blog as “Nosepile,” writes his second guest column. Topics include sports funks, Demolition beating Strike Force for the Tag Team Championship at Wrestlemania, Top 5 lists, insomnia, giving Chad Ochocinco a pass and Golden Glove winners. He once again works in the phrase “clear and present danger.” He also kindly gives us a shoutout. You should read it.

– Alert Reader Matt Brenner calls our attention to the Baby Snuggie. Those of you with sensitive dispositions; who have recently ingested food; or who have nightmares about the movie Aliens should probably look away.

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How many takes were required before they got one of this baby actually smiling in the midst of this torment? Two dozen? A hundred? Several thousand?

– Via Matt Masterson, “Ten facts about Mike Brown’s record-setting ineptitude in Cincy” at WhoDeyRevolution. We’ll pick, at random, one of the ten facts:

9. Since 1991 there have been 13 times when an NFL team began the season 0-8. The Bengals have done it four of those times.

We’d be lying if we said we had any real affection toward the Bengals. But this is the kind of ineptitude you must take pity on. This is Pittsburgh Pirates-level ineptitude. We could revisit the argument over which of those two teams has been more cursed over the last two decades (and we’d still argue for the Pirates), but let’s side aside our differences and simply say: There is no joy in WhoDeyville.

– Hat tip to Jackie Spycher for introducing us to Henri:

This video makes Scooter Thomas cry every time.

– And Oscar the Cat, a kindred spirit with Scooter Thomas and guest blogger at the Hoobler household, reviews Jonathan Franzen’s Freedom. Sample line: “I never got a crack at The Corrections, and I may have been one of the few mammals on the planet that did not read it or at least venture an opinion without reading it, be it a purr or a demur.”

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6 thoughts on “Friday Recommends: Links Edition

  1. I appreciate that a mention of the Bengals meltdown (can we call it that even though they were never actually good this season, but rather just hyped by a bunch of idiots?).

    Carson Palmer is the worst quarterback in the NFL.

    His stats alone might not lead one to believe that fact, but in the context of how much credit he’s been given by: 1. Fans, 2. NFL Pundits, 3. Coaching Staff, 4. The idiot who came up with “Who Dey” it’s clear that Cincy will NEVER make a superbowl with Palmer. Or Lewis.

    Also, that lady with the snuggie needs to be shot in the face.

  2. I would like to challenge you (Ben) to a sports fan misery contest. I believe as a Bengals fan there is no sadder more pathetic franchise in Sports. I believe that you as a Pirates fan have an argument but not a winning one.

    Let’s do this!!!

  3. Matt,

    I find this challenge very intriguing.

    How would we measure our misery in a quantifiable way?

    A cry-off? Public debate? Powerpoint presentation? Dueling essays which would be put to a vote for the Voreblog readership to decide?

    Once we nail down the ground rules, this is on.

    1. Ben,

      All of those are great options. I am partial to a good Powerpoint presentation myself, with lots of lines connecting things and race car noises. Dueling essays is certainly strong as well.

      Might I also suggest that we each select a form of torture that we feel best exemplifies our misery. We could then have these techniques carried out on 2 independent volunteers (I am thinking Matthew Leathers and Andrew Cashmere) and they can judge which is worse.

      Or essays are just fine.

      ps I am assuming you did not watch the Bengals game today. It was an excellent example of what I have gone through for 20 + years.

  4. Yeah, classic Bengals loss wherein looking at the game stats you would think they won the game, until you get to the turnovers column and are instantly reminded of how terrible Carson Palmer really is.

    With that said, I’m intrigued by this contest. I’ll say in Cincy’s favor, at least the franchise appears to want to win something. They just seem inept at doing so. The Pirates on the other hand don’t even seem to care about winning.

  5. Mike,

    I am going to have to strongly disagree with your statement regarding the Bengals “wanting” to win. In Mike Brown’s almost 20 years of ownership he has never shown a consistent will to win. Instead he has shown a willingness to bring in some players every once in awhile to try and keep some interest. He wants to win just enough games to sell some tickets but has no interest in actually winning. If he had interest in actually winning he would do any or all of the following:

    1. Hire a GM and fire himself
    2. Hire a real scouting staff
    3. Allow the coach to make football decisions and remove himself from the process
    4. Create a football environment. i.e. better facilities like an indoor practice facility.

    *credit http://www.whodeyrevolution.com for making these points better and more often than I do.

    If he were to do any or all of these things I would believe in his desire to win.

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