family, friends, parenthood, this day in Vore history

This Day In Vore History: January 20, 2010

In our ongoing attempt to introduce new plot lines and fresh material to our blog, we have decided to have a baby.

Today, January 20, 2010, Erin enters her second trimester.

Here is a picture to prove it:

Two pregnancy tests were necessary because the first one, top, was purchased in bulk from a dollar store. (This was a money-saving tip from our friend Christine. We bought twelve. The winner was number nine.) But since it was a dollar store pregnancy test, we were somewhat skeptical of its veracity. Thus the second test below, the slightly more dependable Clearblue (loaned to us by Katie Andolina), which says either “Pregnant” or “Not Pregnant.” For some reason we thought the napkin would serve as a nice backdrop.

(For the record, Gail Cicak also loaned us a pregnancy test. Thank you, Female Council of Elders!)

As you might imagine, Jon G. Beers was through the roof when he heard the news. We told him (and Susie) on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. They were just sitting down to dinner. After the news, they insisted we eat and refused to take a bite until we had done so. “Eat up,” Jon told Ben. “You need your strength.” (Later he clapped him on the back and said, “Good boy.”)

Ben’s parents, Steve and Donna, got the news on Thanksgiving. We were all sitting in a parked minivan. (This part was not planned.) After telling them about our visit to the Book Loft, Donna asked if we had purchased any books. “In fact we did,” Ben said. “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” Silence. Expectant looks. A double take. “You mean?” she said. “Yes,” we said. We then executed an awkward four-way hug in the confined interior of a Dodge Caravan.

This will be the first grandchild on either side. Jon G. has every weekend in the summer of 2011 booked for fishing expeditions, boy or girl.

Speaking of, we still haven’t decided whether we’ll find out the sex or not. Ben does not want to. Erin does. Our deal? Erin agreed not to find out … if we buy a weiner dog. We’ve still got six weeks to decide. (The due date is July 21.)

We used to think that parenthood meant you had to consent to becoming stereotypes: the doting, domestic mother-to-be who cherishes baby showers (think Jennifer Garner in Juno); the dazed, emasculated father-to-be, excited but aloof (think Adrien Brody in The Darjeeling Limited). Sometime over the past couple years, we realized how untrue that was. Perhaps this is the path all eventual parents travel. In our case, we have many friends to thank for correcting those misconceptions.

We are perfectly content knowing that we’ll probably be terribly inappropriate parents in many ways. After our second sonogram, for instance, we joked in the elevator that we hoped our baby’s “Cro-Magnon” brow might recede sometime before birth. And we’re still revolted by most of what passes for baby gear and apparel — which, we suspect, is what we’ll be receiving as gifts from well-meaning friends and family.

And yet we are learning to receive their excitement, in whatever form it comes, no matter how aesthetically displeasing we may find it, because there’s something about the anticipation of a baby that demands to be shared. Ben’s brother Dan has been telling random people he meets in Portland that he’s going to be an uncle. Erin’s sister Bevin, meanwhile, said that if it’s not a girl she’s “sending it back.”

Due to benign complications, we have already had two ultrasounds, the second of which was yesterday. (Mercifully, this one was external. No one told Ben what to expect for the first one.) The baby is about the size of a lemon. Remarkably enough, it mostly resembles a baby. The nurse took a series of pictures for us, and then turned something on so that we could hear the heartbeat. And not just hear it (a fuzzy sort of wumpawumpawumpa), but see it too, beating on the screen like a little, hyperactive cursor. Go!, we thought as we watched it. Do what it is that all hearts do! Do what hearts have always done since the beginning of time! Except that this particular heart, the one going wumpawumpawumpa — this one was beating because of us.

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25 thoughts on “This Day In Vore History: January 20, 2010

  1. First of all, I think team voreblog are going to be kick ass parents. You will certainly make a running for coolest parents ever. Second, who knew you could share pregnancy tests?!?! As someone who is nowhere close to procreating, and knows very little about pregnancy, that just seems really really gross.

  2. Seeing as how I’ve got three kids I think I can speak on this subject with some authority. 1) We didn’t find out what the sex of any of our kids was before hand – that moment when the doctor flips the baby over and you see a penis or a vagina is one of the only surpises you will really ever have in your life (although with #3 I will say that the vagina looked liked a sack of balls from behind – you are forewarned about what excessive hormones can do to a vagina and Mr. Vore the same thing happens to boys – it will shrink – he ain’t that manly). 2) You are going to have to pick two names and if what happened to us is any indication you will have one solid name and one name you can’t really decide on and the solid name is what it’s going to be (we’re 3 for 3 on this one). 3) knowing a few months early isn’t going to matter in the long run – regardless of what it is – the moment when it is there for the first time is all that mattters – and you are going to miss out knowing what’s coming. 4) don’t find out. 5) a weiner dog? why?. 6) seriously, don’t find out – any temptation you have – do not succumb….leave it alone…..you will thank me if you follow my advice. 7) a weiner dog? really? christ – the baby is already regretting that decision – it needs a bigger dog.

  3. Nodding enthusiastically in agreement with Embo and thinking- Sooo, Katie and Gail want the pregnancy tests back? Also enthusiastic about Scott’s response- and I am now fist pumping. Have I told you I’m gonna be an aunt!? Also, I will only babysit if you get the baby and Scooter Thomas matching outfits.

  4. As one of the apparent “loaners” of pregnancy tests, let me make it well known that the test was most definitely a gift. I don’t want it back. Ever. However, I can’t speak for Gail, so you might have to ask her what she thinks…

  5. Well, if you don’t want to gush in a cheesy fashion…I’ll be more than happy to do it for you!
    Let’s cover one thing real quick…no more “borrowing” pregnancy tests. Take them, keep them, photograph them, but DO NOT give them back!
    Oh, and sorry that Ben didn’t know what to expect with the first ultrasound. Had you shared your news with us earlier, we would have been happy to educate him on the use of the light saber medical device that would introduce him to his child. 🙂
    I vote for not finding out. Our reasons for not…there are very few surprises in life these days. It doesn’t really make much of a difference except for clothing and paint colors. It does not prepare you for parenthood any faster. That being said, we support you in whatever you choose. You’ll do other weird things that we may not choose as parents. And we’ll do things that you will think are weird. Know that you’ll get LOTS of opinions from now own. As long as you love this babe the best way you know how, you’re doing it right.

  6. Oh, and having both not found out and found out about baby’s sex with our two pregnancies, I can honestly say….both ways are really fun :-). Because babies are fun. And crazy. Like my girl, who is currently spinning around the family room in circles yelling, “Running!” I’m tired just watching her.

  7. I would really like to include a very enthusiastic congratulations that includes the word “whomp,” but I’m not quite sure what it would be, exactly, that you whomped.

    Therefore, I will echo Mr. Guldin: HOORAY!!!!

  8. I thought we resolved the issue of whether or not to find out when you came to visit.

    -Erin gets a wiener dog (or basset hound?)
    -Ben get a surprise when the baby pops out.
    -Everyone wins!

  9. CONGRATULATIONS!! you’ll make wonderful parents! Don’t worry about being inappropriate, either. (Of course, this is coming from the parent of a two year old who can tell you the difference between Jean Gray, Marvel Girl, and Dark Phoenix, so maybe my advice shouldn’t count).

    Nevertheless, most of the parenting advice out there is crap, much of it exists solely to make you feel guilty or to create drama, and the minority is actually helpful. Follow your heart, listen to people you know and trust, and disregard anything that doesn’t feel like the right path for you and your child. Oh, and just accept the fact that Elmo will worm his annoying way into your home, no matter how hard you try to stop him.

  10. I love this blog today- very sweet, Ben- you know, you just can’t avoid “sweet” when you’re dealing with babies. I agree that some of the marketing ploys out there to get you to buy matching stuff is pretty disgusting (you only need a dresser drawer- Erin slept in one- diapers, t-shirts, blankets, and love, which appears instantly when your baby is born. You two will be great. I’m sure of it. I am praticing at MOPS once a month- this month we had 10 babies and 5 moms- a record. We we re all attending to several at a time. Dad held a baby on Saturday. He gets all the practice he can. Love you lots. Mom/Susie This is too long- sorry.

  11. A big old Congrats to the Voreblog. Exciting news indeed. Now you both can finally understand the brilliance of Creed’s legendary ballad “With Arms Wide Open”. Feel free to weep.

  12. Congratulations. My vote is for finding out. We found out for both of our girls. I wanted to from the start. Meg wasn’t sure. The thing that finally convinced her was the fact that the ultrasound tech would find out either way and she hated the idea that for several months, this random guy who ran the machine would know something about her baby that she didn’t. Also, Meg says you’ll get better baby shower presents if you find out because people are afraid to anything that might be considered gender specific if they don’t know the sex

    1. I disagree. If you don’t know the sex people will have to buy you practical stuff from your registry (bottles, blankets, burp cloths, etc.) for showers and stuff. Then after Emily Kathleen Vore or Andrew Michael Vore is born, you’ll get plenty of gender specific stuff. Not finding out doubles your presents. Trust me.

  13. If you are concerned about what Davecamp had to say – ask your OB/ultrasound tech – since we didn’t want to know they didn’t even look and if they saw something they didn’t write it down – so there was no way of them slipping and telling us. Nobody knew – except the chromosomes.

  14. FIND OUT!!! You both know where I stand, but I will respect your decision. I’ll at least pretend to. You’re going to be surprised if you find out in a month or 6 months. Right?
    Oh, and I don’t want the pregnancy test back. Consider it my first baby gift to you 🙂

  15. This is actually from Tina, a mother: find out! You should know as much as you can about your baby at all times. It’s a baby! Not a cracker-jack prize. Again, that was from Tina, but I have to say it makes sense. Bevin’s going to be buying you frilly tights and dresses by the dozens until you tell her otherwise. We don’t want her to waste all her fleazy market money. I’m ready to welcome Otis Duncan Vore to the family.

  16. I vote for not finding out because (and this is my reason for doing/not doing pretty much everything) it’s a great betting opportunity.

    Congratulations.

  17. Squeee!

    Although, doing the math, when were you regaling us all regarding ummm medical tests had you already conceived or were you about to within the next week??? What a blog conversation we almost missed!

    1. We were wondering if (or when) this question might be asked.

      We found out Erin was pregnant the week after Ben’s return visit to the fertility doc … a trip that was, it turns out, completely unnecessary.

      (Would you really say we “regaled” you? Now Ben feels dirty and ashamed.)

  18. Sorry if “regaled” was inappropriate. You were always far better with words than I am.

    Don’t find out gender. Don’t even do ultrasounds if you don’t have to. My sister was fond of doing frog-kicks in utero, which in the days before routine ultrasounds was a pretty good signal of twins! (She was a solo birth, but did grow up to be a swimmer!) Think of all the excitement that would have been missed if we did an ultrasound and saw only one baby in there.

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