NBA, sports, Utah Jazz

NBA Fashion Statements

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Matt Masterson asks the question on everyone’s mind: How ’bout those new green Jazz unis? Pretty snazzy, no?

Makes you think back to good old Adrian Dantley.

The amazing thing about that picture? He’s not even playing basketball! That’s him at home wearing his jersey as he jumps up and down on his trampoline. Look how happy he is.

That’s what so remarkable about the green Jazz jerseys. They’re good for any occasion.

In short: Green Jazz jerseys, good. Adrian Dantley, good. Trampolines, great.

Other brief NBA musings:

1. We’ll ignore the fact that when Utah last wore its green jerseys, it scored a mere six points in the fourth quarter en route to an ugly 101-77 road loss to the Lakers. The Jazz got some redemption at home on Saturday night when it rebounded with a 102-94 win to snap L.A.’s 11-game winning streak.

2. Speaking of the Lakers:

It is now clear how idiotic it was to pick anyone but them to win the West (if not everything). My first draft of the 2009-2010 NBA preview had them winning the Finals over the Celts. Then, partially because I believed it but mostly because I wanted it, I switched my pick to the Spurs. Wait, wait, you’re saying — you wanted the Spurs to win the West? Absolutely not. But I just couldn’t bring myself to pick the Lakers, even though I knew — anyone who has watched five minutes of NBA basketball this year would know — that the Lakers are the team to beat. The Spurs? The Spurs need walkers to get from their locker room to the parking lot. They are dinosaurs. You remember that old SportsCenter commercial about the young prodigy sportscaster who flips out one day about how old Jimmy Key was? Sure you do.

All the Spurs are like 45. Tim Duncan. Michael Finley. Theo Ratliff. Antonio McDyess. (Antonio McDyess!) Even the ones just out of college play like 45-year-olds.

I repent of choosing these guys to win it all. Yes, they’re still good. Old teams are wily and feisty and should never be counted out. But they can’t win a title. They can’t beat the Lakers. The only team that could beat L.A. in the West? Denver. And the Nuggets couldn’t do it in seven games. So there it is. I said it. I will now rend my garments and gnash my teeth.

3. Only four teams in the East have winning records right now. Meanwhile, four teams in Utah’s division alone have winning records.

4. Matthew Yglesias investigates how the Chinese are skewing All-Star balloting.

5. Why are coaches left out of the throwback fun? Why not have a Doug Moe Throwback Suit night and require that all coaches dress like this?

Who wouldn’t pay good money to see Vinny Del Negro in those duds? Bulls fans need something to live for.

6. Poor Greg Oden. Poor Blazers fans. Bill Simmons visited the Rose Garden earlier this season and wrote this about the crowd:

The best way to describe the crowd’s support for Oden: It’s like watching 15,000 parents rooting for their kid, only all 15,000 parents fathered the same kid. If he ever explodes for 30 points, 20 rebounds and eight blocks in a game, you’ll have to carry each deliriously passed-out Portland fan out of the Rose Garden individually like they were victims of smoke inhalation in a burning house.

What’s eerie about that remark is that, according to my brother, it was just as fitting a description for how Portland fans reacted when Oden went down for the season with a broken kneecap. The most heartbreaking paragraph from that link?

Brandon Roy said that Oden apologized and bowed his head as he was wheeled off the court. Once he learned his diagnosis, Oden told his teammates in the locker room he was sorry he let them down.

Sheesh. Somebody give that guy a hug.

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7 thoughts on “NBA Fashion Statements

  1. The only duds I would pay to see Vinny del Negro wearing would be those of a Wal-Mart greeter. Even that, I’m afraid, would demand talent and ability he does not possess. Too bad his inevitable firing (about the only thing I have to root for these days), won’t change the fact that the organization is run by bottom-line-gazing buffoons.

    Thought this was interesting given our recent (and, it now seems, utterly misguided) conversation on the subject:

    http://www.sbnation.com/2009/12/14/1199710/the-nba-watchability-scale-helping-you-find-the-right-team-to-watch-this-holiday-season

    Finally, I dig these Jazz unis. The Bulls roll out a green version of their uniforms for St. Patrick’s Day. I HATE them. Whenever I see them, I think, “Oh. The Celtics are playing. Oh…” But at least it scores Reinsdorf a few more dollars, right? Right?

    1. Ouch. The Bulls were dead last on that list. And then I watched the Vinny Del Negro clip. Which made me think: What if he was a Wal-Mart greeter AND he was miked?

      VINNY (yelling): Hey! You want a cart! Be aggressive! Ask for it! Don’t wait on me to yell at you! Go to work!

      VINNY (yelling): So you pulled a crappy parking job and almost ran over a kid and then nearly got hit yourself in the crosswalk. No big deal! Keep your head up! Here’s a cart! Keep the tempo up!

      VINNY (yelling): Do not let another customer beat you to the electronics section! When you get a product in your hand, be strong with it! Execute your stuff! Keep working! Gotta win the hustle game! Oh yeah, special sale on bath salts! Aisle nine!

      1. I like this. I sometimes use sports appropriate motivational techniques in every day life.

        I occasionaly give Erik a firm slap on the ass to let him know “Job well done, Erik”.

        I have benched Tad Smith on more than one occasion.

        I have also floated the idea of trading Ben Vore for Erin Vore, three BBQ dinners, and a future draft pick. In the end I just couldn’t pull the trigger on the deal.

  2. Jazz lose to the TWolves tonight. At home. They’re now 0-2 vs. Minnesota this season.

    The TWolves have won four games this year total.

    How do you beat the Lakers at home then lose to Minnesota two nights later?

    Maybe by shooting 7-of-19 from the FT line if your name isn’t Deron Williams.

  3. Best bet in all of sports gambling is betting the Jazz to lose when they are playing their 2nd game in 2 nights on the road. It is almost a gurantee.

  4. Now that’s not nice. Or, in this case, true.

    The Minnesota loss was two days after the home win against the Lakers. Both in Salt Lake.

    For the record, Utah is 2-3 in the second game of a back-to-back this season. Better than 50/50 odds, but not exactly a guarantee.

    But I know you just said that to get a rise out of me.

    Which is why I will fight you to the death the next time you’re in town.

    You name the place.

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