The chupacabra (literally, “goat sucker“).
The name comes from the animal’s reported habit of attacking and drinking the blood of livestock, especially goats. Physical descriptions of the creature vary. Eyewitness sightings have been claimed as early as 1990 in Puerto Rico, and have since been reported as far north as Maine, and as far south as Chile. It is supposedly a heavy creature, the size of a small bear, with a row of spines reaching from the neck to the base of the tail. …
In at least one sighting, the creature was reported to hop 20 feet (6 m). This variety is said to have a dog or panther-like nose and face, a forked tongue and large fangs. It is said to hiss and screech when alarmed, as well as leave behind a sulfuric stench. When it screeches, some reports assert that the chupacabra’s eyes glow an unusual red which gives the witnesses nausea.
In other words, cancel those summer vacations to Puerto Rico and anywhere between Maine and Chile.
If the above paragraphs did not immediately produce a chilling effect upon your soul, you should consider the possibility that you do not in face have a soul. This is no laughing matter. Even if you don’t own goats or other livestock, you can’t afford to take the chupacabra for granted. That would be a mistake — a fatal one.
The Eleventh Voreblog Readers Forum is simple: How would you hunt and kill the feared chupacabra? It will be incumbent on us to think outside the box on this one, people. Lives may depend on it.
In the meantime, Scooter Thomas will be staying indoors as he has often been mistaken for livestock.
The NBA Playoffs Readers Forum has picked back up as well, featuring hard-hitting commentary on Joakim Noah’s offseason activity; heated exchanges about slander and potential infringement upon the intellectual property of certain comments made in Google Chat; a zinger from Matthew Leathers; and detours into the NHL Playoffs, with Scott G—– masquerading as a Chicago Blackhawks fan just to spite true hockey aficionado Jenny McDevitt. Join the discussion and comment here!