NBA, Pittsburgh Pirates, readers forum, sports

The NBA Playoffs Continue…

…and we actually still have a conversation going over at the Voreblog NBA Playoffs Readers Forum.

Tad Smith and Scott G—– both like the Nuggets this year. Given Scott’s (well-justified) hatred of George Karl, why would he pull for the Nuggets? Because he likes Chauncey Billups and Melo. And (this is a direct quote from Google Chat) “it’s one more player than I like on any other team.” Point taken.

(From the same Google Chat, Jenny McDevitt said she’s going with the “Celtics and Nuggets, because I like those locations better. My very informed opinion.” This was before Boston fizzled out to Orlando in game seven.)

Given L.A.’s less-than-impressive series against the Rockets, Denver is the sexy pick here. We (and by “we” we of course mean “Ben”) would love to be wrong, but we’re still taking the Lakers in seven.

Over in the East, Cleveland will finally lose a playoff game but not a series. Cavs in six. 

Note: Should we ever insult an NBA player’s mother, we will apologize to her in person and not in this space.

Another interesting sidenote from that link: You know those advertisements for IQ tests that challenge you to beat someone else’s IQ? One such ad on that page says “Avg. Nuggets IQ = 83.” Right below it is another that says, “Chauncy [sic] Billups’ IQ = 133.” We’re still trying to do the math, but we’re guessing that means that at least one Nugget has an IQ below 60. Any guesses as to who it might be? (And is Coach Karl included in that average?)

Those of you who despise the NBA are welcome to sound off on Major League Baseball, especially if you would like to comment on the Pirates’ three-game win streak. Last night’s 12-7 win over the Nationals put the Buccos at 17-21, which is awfully late in May for them to be flirting with .500. Two words: Nate McLouth. Three more words: Hall of Famer. One) Put it in your pipe and 2) smoke it.

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32 thoughts on “The NBA Playoffs Continue…

  1. The Buccos have not one, but two, LaRoche’s on the team. That’s a wild card squad if I ever saw one.

    OR, that’s a AA squad if I ever saw one. Not sure yet at this point.

    As for the Association, ain’t nobody beatin’ the Dancin’ Lebron’s this year. My reasoning? No team with a player with one name can EVER win a championship. I’m looking at you, Nene…..Hilario. Whether it’s Yao, or Ichiro, just ain’t happnin’. And my hatred of foreigners doesn’t stop there, people. The Magic can’t win, because Hedo Turkoglu isn’t allowed to have a ring, and the Lakers can’t win, because Sasha Vujacic isn’t allowed to have a ring.

    And yeah, yeah, I’m aware of Anderson Varejao and his Sideshow Bob hair, but he did this, and that’s too funny not to justify a ring.

  2. Mr. Leathers,

    Although I do not disagree with you that the Cavs are going all the way like the way I went all the way with Kobe’s mom last night, you conveniently also forgot Big Z and the other Sasha (Pavlovic) in your fits of NBA xenophobia. (Jeebus, I hate Kobe.) How you can neglect a 7’3″ giant Lithuanian, I am not sure.

    Mr. Guldin, have you seen the racy photos of Joakim Noah frolicking in the surf with two life-preservers attached to a human female body? It’s good to know he’s broken up about losing to the C’s.

  3. I thought about mentioning Big Z, but I didn’t have anything funny to add, so I just didn’t. It’s lazy comedy. My bad.

    But speaking of lazy comedy….

    Noah lost to the C’s, but he’s winning with them Double D’s!!!! Can I get a what what?!?!

  4. Yellow Thunder,

    Oh, I saw. Not much happens on the TMZ website that I’m not aware of. Noah made big talk about being inspired to work really, really hard this summer. I suppose someone should have asked, “Hard at what, exactly?” because I thought he meant, you know, basketball.

    Ben,

    I’m not sure it’s fair to put it right there in permanent black-and-white, Google-searchable, blogosphere print that I “like the Nuggets this year.” I think that might be taking things a trifle too far, don’t you think? My whole point was that there’s such a lousy field of unlikable teams remaining that I am conflicted out the wazoo. But you quoted my Google chat, so it must be true.

  5. Nothing you say on Google chat is sacred, Scott.

    World: Scott Guldin loves the Denver Nuggets.

    He is also “conflicted out the wazoo.”

    (Note: I am not a total monster, and have repaired the original post so that your full name is not associated with the Denver Nuggets in any way, shape or form.)

  6. This is certainly the first (and perhaps the last?) time I have ever been quoted in regards to my NBA insights. Thank you for sharing my discernment process with others.

    Interestingly, I generally fare better in Final Four brackets that some of my friends who actually analyze the games. (I do realize that the NBA and the Final Four are different. I was a sports editor, after all.)

    If you’re going to draw posts out of our chat, however, I am awaiting an entry dedicated to the chupacabra.

    And doesn’t anyone around here want to talk hockey? COME ON.

  7. Sure thing, McDevitt. How about this:

    RED WINGS SUCK
    RED WINGS SUCK
    RED WINGS SUCK

    (So does Michigan. And the Pistons.)

    By the way, I love you.

  8. That said, Jenny’s point about the chupacabra is a salient one.

    Also: Scott Guldin has always loved the Chicago Bulls, and he always will. Ben Vore and voregblog lie like the cows and sheep that chupacabra have killed by sucking them clean of blood.

  9. My reasons for liking the Nuggets this year? One name.

    Scott Hastings.

    Championship benchwarmer. Who called Jay Cutler a “little bitch.”

    Nuggets in 6.

  10. Hansbrough has Utah written all over him. I’ve already thrown in the towel on 2009-2010.

    And Tad, we know the real reason you like the Nuggets: Renaldo Balkman.

  11. Clock,

    How come I am not on your GChat list? 😦 You leave me sadder than LB after a no-good National League team beats the Indians.

  12. Coach,

    There is no excusable reason why you should not be on my GChat list. This is a disgrace.

    Speaking of no-good National League teams, the Pirates made it four in a row. The Pittsburgh Pirates c. 2009: If one LaRoche doesn’t get you, the other one might.

  13. Dear Mr. Guldin,

    It is entirely possible that the Pistons suck. I would not know, as I have not watched a Pistons game, or even checked a relevant website to track their progress, in at least ten years. You cannot hurt me by insulting them.

    As for the Red Wings: I monitored game two every few minutes, thanks to http://www.espn.com and Panera’s free wireless access. Having not seen the game, I can only suggest that a team that has a 2-0 series lead in the conference finals likely does not, in fact, suck.

    I understand that’s hard to hear right now, you being a Chicago boy and all.

    On a different note entirely, thank you for your use of “salient” to describe my chupacabra comment. I wish my professors would use it more to describe my academic work.

    Signed,
    Jenny

  14. I saw the game was in OT and decided to locate VERSUS within my cable lineup (turns out it’s channel 55, if you’re ever in the greater KC area and are unfortunate enough to use Time Warner). What a bunch of crap.

    I would like to remind you that I a) can’t stand hockey, b) have watched exactly zero seconds of Blackhawk hockey either intentionally or inadvertently before tonight, and yet: c) it still hurt to see a Detroit “sports” squad defeat its counterpart from Chicago. Boo.

    Angela was reading through these posts and made fun of me for choosing “salient,” and then said I was a nerd. To remedy that, I showed her the pics of Joakim Noah and his hoochie mama girlfriend with the scary (and green) looking chest. She vomited.

    I HATE the Lakers. Good night.

  15. Poor Angela.

    It’s 3:19 a.m. and Voreblog just woke up for a middle-of-the-night bathroom excursion. What’s up with asparagus pee?

  16. As an acutal avid hockey fan, I must say the following:

    The Detroit Redwings make me want to punch a soup line worker in the neck and then punt a crippled kitten. Everytime I see an octupus, I want to smash its face into a jelly that I would then bottle and ship to every Redwing fan in the world. We’d call it “Steve Yzerman ain’t got Nards and Scotty Bowman Fondles Children” Jelly. I’d make millions.

    And I’m out!

  17. Did you guys know that all of the 2009 playoff games to date are available for $1.99 on iTunes? I’m off to download the Hawks’ 26-point win over the Heat in Game 1 of the first round. Classic!

  18. Don’t forget to buy the Hornets’ self-immolating 121-63 loss against the Nuggets (Game 4, first round). Barftastic!

  19. You have to admit that it felt pretty good seeing the Lakers lose, right? Which makes you want to continue to cheer for the Nuggets, right? Right?

  20. I’m always going to be cheering for the team playing the Lakers. Unless that team is the Atlanta Braves. In that scenario, I would hope both teams get obliterated by an asteroid seconds after tearing all of their ACLs and pulling all their groins.

  21. This is a strange thing to say, but I really miss CWebb from the Inside the NBA team. Reggie Miller is atrocious. Simply atrocious. The chemistry between CWebb, Kenny Smith and Chuck is delicious. Though I will say that I enjoyed last night when Smith called out Reggie for shoving MJ in the chest on that play we’ve discussed over and over. Reggie’s argument was that Hedo played really bad defense. Um, come on. That was one of the greatest shots in the playoff annals. Not sure chupacabra could have defended it.

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