The bartender failed Photography 101.
Step #1: Prepare Ben to be Katie’s boyfriend. Be sure to have Ben take off wedding ring as Adam is walking across the room. (It fits perfectly on Erin’s thumb.) Concoct a quick back story for the relationship. Establish appropriate physical boundaries for the imaginary relationship.
Step #2: Introduce Ben as Katie’s boyfriend. Have Ben assert his superior height by standing close to Adam and saying, “And who are you?”
Step #3: After Adam explains his prior meeting with Katie, an encounter a couple months back which involved relentless hitting-on, have Katie say to Ben, “That was right before we started dating.”
Step #4: Introduce back story. For a higher degree of difficulty, surprise one another by adding increasingly preposterous subplots. Example: Katie: “We met at a 7-Eleven and I couldn’t pump gas. That’s when Ben came over and helped.” Ben: “I couldn’t believe Katie didn’t know how to pump gas. But I wasn’t going to pass up the chance to meet a smokin’ hot girl.”
Step #5: Have “single” friend Erin gush about how perfect Katie and Ben are together. Example: Say “you two were just made for each other.” Or, “I still can’t believe you two met at a 7-Eleven.” Or, “Really, that’s probably the most bizarre story I’ve ever heard about two people getting together.” (Possible rejoinder from Katie: “7-Eleven’s are just very special for us.”)
Step #6: Initiate subtle, appropriate physical contact. Examples: Putting arm around one another. Meaningful gazes into one another’s eyes. Light, playful shoulder punches, hand touches and back scratches.
Step #7: Have Erin seize opportunity to make conversation with the gentleman sitting next to her at the bar. Determine appropriateness of him being a possible suitor for Katie. Ask him very direct personal questions about his age, job, interests and long term aspirations. Mentally catalogue all pros and cons for later conversation with Katie.
Step #8: Have Ben and Katie whisper conspiratorially in one another’s ear. Possible lines to whisper: “Would some light hair-tousling be inappropriate?” “I think Adam is hitting on Erin now.” “This must be how Abraham felt when he said Sarah was his sister and then Abimelech slept with her.” “Did Adam just ask Erin to go to Brazil with him?” “I’m going to destroy him if he makes a move on her. Destroy him.”
Step #9: Determine when this has gone too far. Forcibly intervene in Adam’s latest hitting-on. Suggest the party continue down the street at The Spot. Tell Adam it was a pleasure meeting him and wish him a good trip to Brazil.
Step #10: Curse the bartender for failing to take an in-focus picture from five feet. Proceed to The Spot.
* = As defined by Katie, “Anything below 5′ 10″.” Or six inches taller than Adam.