Tad Smith has graciously offered his free ticket to tonight’s Knowing showing to fellow Nic Cage-hater Andrew Cashmere. Mr. Cashmere, should you be able to stomach 130 minutes of cinematic putridness, you can at least rest assured it won’t cost you a dime.
We have received several confirmations of both the electronic and non-electronic sort for tonight’s soiree, but let’s establish a few ground rules before we all gather this evening at seven o’clock:
- Voreblog is not going past first base. If the evening goes well, you may be looking at a peck on the cheek after you walk us to the door. But that’s it, buster. We don’t even think about second base until the fourth date.
- Even if we hit it off, this relationship won’t work unless you share our love of Nic Cage. Nic is still #1 in our hearts. So long as you’re happy with second place then this could be the beginning of something special.
- We might get very emotional watching Cage do his “antsy-perturbed thing” while fellow moviegoers mock and ridicule him. Yes, he deserves it for this particular film. No, that doesn’t make it any easier for us. The kind and thoughtful date will bring tissues.
We’ll be waiting in the food court at seven p.m. Remember, it’s bargain Tuesday! Five bucks is still five too many for this abomination, but at least it’s not nine!