friends, movies, Nic Cage

Win a Date With Voreblog!

Your regularly scheduled Friday Recommends is being preempted by this very special announcement. 

 

We wrote earlier this week that Knowing is the worst movie we’ve ever seen. You must understand the tremendous personal anguish it caused us to reach that critical judgment. We like Nic Cage. We want other people to like Nic Cage. It pains us to hear Nic Cage’s good name maligned for the cinematic missteps of his past. We acknowledge they exist. We aren’t trying to rewrite history. We just believe Nic Cage is more than the worst movie he’s ever made. (You can fill in the blank with your movie of choice. Ours would be The Wicker Man).  

But Knowing was so fantastically bad that we were reduced to laughter during the climactic scenes, scenes which we doubt director Alex Proyas intended to be laughed at. We left the theater wondering, How can we redeem this moviegoing experience? (Can we redeem this moviegoing experience?)

The answer we came up with: Let’s share this movie with our friends. In other words, we want you to go on a date with Voreblog.

Originally we intended to do this on Sunday. Weekend plans have now pushed it back to a weeknight, specifically next Tuesday, March 31, at Kenwood Towne Centre. Start time is 7:15 p.m. And because it’s Tuesday, tickets are just five bucks!

Why, you might be asking at this point, would I jump at the opportunity to watch a film which the Vores have called the worst movie of all time? We would suggest four reasons:

1) The redemptive power of Mystery Science Theater 3000. For those of you non-Misties, MST3K was about a man launched into the loneliness of space with only bad, B-list and C-list movies to keep him occupied. The man, Joel (later Mike), builds two robot companions to help him get through the films. The show is you, the viewer, watching the same movie that Joel and the Bots are watching. Their silhouettes are in the bottom right corner. They keep a running commentary during the film, ranging from highbrow to lowbrow, satirical to juvenile, silly to sublime, their jibes and barbs running the gamut of pop culture. Why are they doing this? To stay sane.

That’s why we’re inviting you to watch Knowing with us. So we can all stay sane.

2) We have tussled with many a Nic Cage critic in this space, and watching Knowing with you very excitable, very impassioned, occasionally deranged individuals would be our way of saying, “You were right this time.” Think of it as a peace offering. See, we are laying down our arms. We seek unity. We want to dance on the ashes of this wretched film with you. 

3) We want to challenge you. (Hence this being previewed as “the Knowing Challenge.”) Look at you sitting there in your comfort zone. You disgust us. There’s a ketchup stain on your shirt. You appear not to have bathed or attended to basic grooming for months now. And your fly is down. This has to end. You’re in our world now, soldier! Time to report for duty!

and 4) We will pay for one of you to join us. How can you win a date with Voreblog, you ask? By correctly answering the following trivia question: What’s the first Nic Cage movie that the Vores watched together? We started dating in 2003, although we didn’t necessarily see this movie in the theater. (We’ll go ahead and link straight to Cage’s IMDB page to save you some time.)

The first person to respond with the correct answer gets a free ticket from us next Tuesday night.* We’ll also share our popcorn and, depending on who wins, possibly let you take a sip of our Coke. But that’s unlikely. (Germs and all.)

The winner will be determined by the time stamp on the comment. We’ll announce the winner on Monday. (This will still give you plenty of time to figure out what to wear on your date with Voreblog.)

Regardless of who wins, we hope to see you Tuesday night!

 

—–

* = Some restrictions may apply. The winner must be able to actually use the winning ticket on Tuesday night. Cats and other non-humans are ineligible as they are not allowed in the theater. Must be 18 to enter.

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25 thoughts on “Win a Date With Voreblog!

  1. We flipped the comments again, as you can see. This little experiment has been met with almost universal derision, and now with the “reply” feature within each comment, it’s a headache reading down within a thread reading up. We apologize. We will never attempt this again.

  2. I’m sure I’m wrong, but I like a good competition, so I’m going to guess Face Off… mostly because I love John Travolta. Do you pay for the flight to the Kenwood Towne Center if I win as well? I’ve got my fingers crossed!

  3. Hmmm, I know it wasn’t Face Off, because Erin saw that one for the first time in Chicago during our girls’ weekend…and Katie 1 was annoyed at her for wanting to watch instead of going out :-). Remember that Katie??

    I’m going to go with Adaptation.

    Incidentally, the Andolina’s first date was to see Family Man – ahh, the power of Nic Cage…

  4. I have absolutely no idea, but I’m going to guess Captain Correlli’s Mandolin. It could be a romantic staying-in movie…

    If I win, since I won’t be driving from Nashville for the date (sorry), can I pick the winner??

  5. I’m going with City of Angels, even though deep down in my heart, I know it to be Honeymoon in Vegas.

  6. I was going to say Family Man, but since that is taken I’ll change my guess to Honeymoon in Vegas. Either way, Nic Cage makes me want to poop more than the spicy salsa at Chipotle.

  7. Because I also believe Cage’s good movies outweigh the bad (at least at this point, not having seen Knowing), I was just going to go with one of my three faves. Adaptation has been taken, so that’s out. I am going to go with what might be my favorite Cage movie and hope the Vores watched it on a romantic night in:
    Moonstruck.

  8. You won’t hear from us again before Monday, but we’re just chiming in to say: No one has picked the winner yet. (Even those of you who tried to guess twice. Leathers.)

    In response to the questions which have come up: We will not pay for airfare into Cincinnati (sorry, Katie), but we would consider picking up the winner at his/her house. And should the winner be unable/unwilling to attend, he/she may nominate a substitute. (Or elect to defer the date to a future Cage flick.)

  9. All:

    Greetings. My name is Wily and I am a 33-year old talking trout educated at Oxford and Cambridge, where I studied Comparative Literature and Law, with a concentration in hunting and gaming law.
    Currently I am unemployed.
    Although I am aware of the prohibitions stated in the footnote of the post, I find them to be of dubious legality, and am going to venture a guess.
    My guess is 1982’s ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High’ in which Mr. Cage played a small role (credited as Nicolas Coppola). This exercise in teen angst and sexuality is ever popular and would have made great DVD viewing for a young human couple in the throes of love.

    I remain,
    Yours sincerely,
    W.S. Trout

  10. I’m going with “The Rock.” My heart says “8MM,” but there’s no way any relationship could survive after a viewing of that.

  11. I’m going to say Raising Arizona. A dvd viewing that became a make out session in your parent’s basement.

      1. Crap. The odds continue to narrow for those yet to play. Somehow that seems wrong. Oh well. I guess if you let a fish play, this is not exactly the most strictly regulated contest.

  12. I feel that Mr. Hoobler should be eliminated for reasons that I wish to remain private. But, if I win, he can have my ticket, because I have a prior engagement on Tuesday at 7. I guess… Adaptation.

      1. you are too right Mr. Hoobler. Damn that Katie 2- it was a good guess. That will teach me to start drinking so early in the day. I’ll just cross my fingers for the Peggy movie.

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