marital tension, marriage

A Twitter Recap of the Most Recent Argument in the Vore Household

We are aware that Twitter feeds usually read chronologically, from the bottom up, but we have inverted the format here for ease of reading.


goodhusband I’m going 2 be a good husband & make dinner 2night. I’m thinking stromboli

bettycrocker Ben must be trying 2 be a good husband 2night because he appears 2 be making something resembling stromboli

goodhusband Wife noticed I’m making stromboli! Bonus points

bettycrocker Husband is absolutely butchering whatever he thinks resembles stromboli

goodhusband Wife does not appreciate my slightly unorthodox stromboli-making technique

bettycrocker Do not appreciate my husband’s very wrong stomboli-making technique

goodhusband Wife will regret 4ever doubting my slightly unorthodox stromboli-making technique

bettycrocker Going 2 take over & prevent my husband from continuing 2 be wrong @ making stromboli

goodhusband Wife has misguided notion that I need help making stromboli. Might reconsider words coming out of her mouth right now

bettycrocker Groaning incredibly loudly so as to break my husband’s will & let me take over the stromboli-making

goodhusband Wife apparently does not want dinner 2night. I guess she is curious what starvation feels like

bettycrocker Husband could not fold dough properly if his life depended on it

goodhusband Wife will deeply regret ever doubting my ability 2 fold dough

bettycrocker Husband shows an appalling lack of concern 4 the insides which are spilling out of the stromboli

goodhusband I could put those insides back in the stromboli much more efficiently w/o my wife’s very loud groaning

bettycrocker Husband is acting like a stooge

goodhusband There, I have restored the insides to the stromboli. Now I will pinch down the sides like so

bettycrocker WHY IS MY HUSBAND PINCHING THE SIDES DOWN LIKE SO??

goodhusband MY WIFE NEEDS 2 GRASP THE FACT THAT IT WILL TASTE JUST FINE REGARDLESS OF HOW I PINCH

bettycrocker Will alert my husband 2 the disaster that is his folding technique by poking open a hole where it is poorly folded

goodhusband Wife is sabotaging the stromboli & needs 2 step away from the oven

scooterthomas When Mommy & Daddy fight I hide under the bed & cry

bettycrocker Husband is quite stingy w/ the garlic salt

goodhusband Wife apparently thinks garlic salt grows on garlic trees & that we need not worry abt garlic salt supply 4 rest of earth’s popul

goodhusband ation (whoops)

bettycrocker Husband is acting like a total stooge

goodhusband Will allow my wife 2 garlic salt the stromboli because she can sometimes be a total stooge

bettycrocker My husband can watch & learn from how I garlic salt this stromboli

goodhusband Was looking forward 2 having stromboli w/ my garlic salt tonight, so this will be wonderful

bettycrocker Glad I intervened & salvaged the stromboli. Husband will feel the same once he tastes how good it is

goodhusband Wife will deeply regret interfering w/ dinner when she tastes how good this stromboli will be. If I decide 2 let her eat any

[10 minutes pass]

bettycrocker Stromboli my husband prepared is actually pretty good!

goodhusband Wife has a way w/ sarcasm!

bettycrocker Husband does not appreciate my honesty and mistakes a genuine compliment 4 biting sarcasm

goodhusband Wife really thinks I did good! I am filled w/ joy & sunshine

bettycrocker Wonder if my husband will be so good as 2 cook stromboli 4 me again?

goodhusband Will have 2 think long & hard on this matter of whether or not I can ever cook stromboli for my wife again

bettycrocker I think Jeopardy is on now

goodhusband Agree w/ my wife that Jeopardy is on now

bettycrocker I don’t think Jeopardy is on this channel though

goodhusband I ask my wife what we will do about Jeopardy not being on this channel

bettycrocker I am going 2 groan really loudly

goodhusband I am going 2 make my wife stop groaning really loudly because I love her & I want to watch Jeopardy as well

bettycrocker I love my husband because he makes me stromboli & turns the channel 2 Jeopardy

goodhusband I love my wife but I am now going 2 crush her @ Jeopardy

bettycrocker I think my husband believes he will now crush me @ Jeopardy. Will have 2 disabuse him of that notion

scooterthomas My parents are watching Jeopardy so I’m going 2 go hide

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5 thoughts on “A Twitter Recap of the Most Recent Argument in the Vore Household

  1. I just learned what twitter is the other day…so I actually get this post, and I also LOVE garlic salt and put way too much of it on EVERYTHING!

  2. benvore: dsorr, have you tried garlic salt on cereal? Someone I know has

    erinvore: I have NOT tried it on cereal

    benvore: (pretending to cough) Pants on fire!

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