letters to people who won't write back, poop, Uncategorized

Dear Man Who Let His Great Dane Poop In Our Yard,

No, no, no, don’t feel obligated to clean that up! We know you’re a busy man with things to do, places to go, widows to swindle and upstanding citizens to hoodwink. You’re obviously far too important a person to be troubled with cleaning up Marmaduke’s herculean crap. (And what a clean-up job it will be! Lord have mercy!) I mean, really, who are we to put our yard in your dog’s way? Let us do the dirty work. Yes, that’s us watching you in the window. We’re waving but don’t feel obligated to wave back or anything. It’s our way of saying, “Thanks for being a good neighbor! You’re helping us get a head start on fertilizing our lawn for next summer, and we appreciate it.” Maybe you and ol’ Duke could stop back this weekend and fertilize the rest of it for us. What’s that? You think you’re free? Great! We’ll look forward to it! After we buy ourselves a shotgun! Bye neighbor!


The Vores

10 thoughts on “Dear Man Who Let His Great Dane Poop In Our Yard,

  1. brad gets so mad at me when I let Kona poop in other people’s yards…but I pick it up with our biodegradable poopy bags!!! I mean, its not like the people eat off of their grass- but I do think its rude to not pick it up!

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