marital tension, marriage, movies

The Argument We Had During The End Credits Of Slumdog Millionaire*

[credits begin rolling]

DAN VORE: What else has Danny Boyle done?

BEN: He did Trainspotting.

ERIN: And 28 Days Later

BEN: And his last one was Sunshine, which was weird but we liked it.

DAN: I didn’t like that one. That was the one with the sun-monster guy lost in space, right? 

BEN: Yes. We didn’t have very high expectations, so we were pleasantly surprised.

ERIN: We watched it when we were on a big Cillian Murphy kick.

BEN: You mean when you were on a big Cillian Murphy kick?

ERIN: Dan, have you seen Red Eye?

DAN: Yeah, I think I saw it once.

ERIN: Once? That’s it?

BEN: Trust me, you’re not going to appreciate the subtleties of Cillian Murphy’s performance until about the eighth viewing. Right, honey?

ERIN: Oh, you know what else Danny Boyle did? Millions.

BEN: I never saw that one.

ERIN: Yes you did. We saw that together.

BEN: No, you saw it with someone else but it wasn’t me.

ERIN: You mean some other guy who wasn’t my husband?

BEN: I don’t know who it was, but you didn’t see it with me.

ERIN: Yes I DID. You saw the movie. Neither of us liked it.

BEN: How did I not like it if I never saw it?

ERIN: Trust me, you saw the movie. 

BEN: Trust me, I did not see the movie.

ERIN: This is just like how you think I saw that Steve Martin movie with you but I never saw it.

BEN: No you did see it–

ERIN: What was it again? Something like The Tailor of Something. 

BEN: It was The Spanish Prisoner, and you definitely saw it with me.

ERIN: Then how come I can’t remember it?

BEN: Why would I have written it down in my little book if we didn’t see it?

ERIN: Oh, your little book! If it’s inscribed in your little book then suuurrrely it can’t be wrong!

BEN: Erin, I remember us watching it together, and we could go rent it tonight and this is what would happen, we’d start watching it and after about five minutes you’d think to yourself, “Oh, crap, I have seen this before,” but you would deny it until later on when you’d say to me, “Baby, forgive me. I do remember seeing The Spanish Prisoner with you. Specifically in April of 2004, just like it says in your little book which is never wrong. I’m sorry.”

ERIN: You mean, that’s what would happen if we rented Millions?

BEN: I. Haven’t. Seen. Millions.

ERIN: Who else could I have seen it with?

BEN: Did you see it with Brooks?

ERIN: [pauses] It’s possible I saw it with Brooks.

BEN: I think you saw it with Brooks.

ERIN: I think you’re so in love with this Brooks theory that you’re forgetting you actually saw the movie.

[Long, awkward silence as credits finish rolling. DAN, BEN and ERIN are the last three in the theater.]

DAN: So, who wants to use an Olive Garden gift card?

 

—–

* = Which we thought was fantastic. A sure contender for Best of Movies 08. Coming soon!

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3 thoughts on “The Argument We Had During The End Credits Of Slumdog Millionaire*

  1. I really liked this movie, but I also thought it seemed very long. One of my favorite parts of the movie was the dancing sequence at the end title credits; both because it was a very rousing, lively sequence, and because it signaled that the movie was over and I could be going soon.

    Does Erin know Cillian AND Christian Bale were in both Batman movies together?

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