poop, Uncategorized

Overheard Today in the Vore Household

ERIN: Hey, will you come look at this for a second?

BEN: What is it?

ERIN: You have to come look.

BEN: Why don’t you just tell me what it is?

ERIN: Because you have to see it for yourself.

[BEN joins ERIN at the doorway to the guest room. There is something on the carpet.]

ERIN: I think it’s an acorn.

BEN: Are you putting me on?

ERIN: No, I’m serious, I don’t know what it is or how it got there.

[BEN and ERIN lean over to examine it.]

BEN: I think it’s poop.

ERIN: Shut up. Really?

BEN: Well, I can’t tell. 

[BEN gets down on knees and leans in very close.]

BEN: You’re seriously not putting me on?

ERIN: No!

BEN: You’re not going to shove my face in it or anything?

ERIN: I’m not going to do anything.

BEN: Take a step back.

ERIN: Okay. Sheesh.

[BEN sniffs the object.]

BEN: It’s poop.

ERIN: What’s it doing on the floor of our guest bedroom?

BEN: I have no idea.

ERIN: Oh that’s disgusting.

BEN: Where’s kittens?

ERIN: You think he forgot to wipe? Like he couldn’t get it all off?

BEN: Actually, that’s way too big for him.

ERIN: I almost touched it. I was really just going to pick it up.

BEN: If it was still stuck to him, how’d he manage to get all the way up here before it fell off?

ERIN: I don’t want to think about it.

BEN: It’s big. I really don’t think it was him.

ERIN: Well then who did it? I didn’t.

BEN: Are you suggesting I did?

ERIN: We are never letting him on our bed again.

[BEN picks up the poop with a wad of toilet paper and flushes it.]

ERIN: Seriously, it had to be kitties.

BEN: That was a big piece of poop. I don’t know if it was him.

ERIN: WELL IT WASN’T US.

[BEN and ERIN go downstairs. SCOOTER THOMAS is sitting on the chair. He looks like an angel.]

ERIN: Oh, I can’t be mad at him.

BEN: Well, we’ve still got to burn that chair.

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4 thoughts on “Overheard Today in the Vore Household

  1. Let me count the ways I love the Vore blog:
    1. It’s free.
    2. It’s funny.
    3. I actually know you, so I’m not just some blog stalker who makes random OH MY GOSH YOU ARE SO HILARIOUS WANT TO HANG OUT? comments.
    4. It keeps me (hopefully) from being the girl Danny is dating that nobody knows.
    5. It keeps Danny (hopefully) from the being the boy Laura is dating that nobody knows.

    Hope you guys are well!

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