Not Quite Live Blogging the Great Cincinnati Blackout of Aught Eight, Part Two

From Cincinnati.com. (Look closely and you’ll see that the tree in the second photo is smoking.)




Generally speaking, we’ve observed three different ways to handle the blackout. Strategy #1, which we have tried to abide by, is: Take Each Moment As It Comes. Sometimes you have to wait forty minutes for coffee. Sometimes fifty cars are in the Speedway gas lot with you and there’s just not much you can do about it. Strategy #1 is, ultimately, about adaptability and compromise, trying to balance your needs with those of a world going mad. Strategy #2, on the other hand, is: Screw You, I’m Getting Mine. These people disliked the hand fate dealt them, and responded by changing the rules of the game. Yes, I could wait my turn for the gas pump, but there’s an opening and that car isn’t moving fast enough so — swoop! — it’s mine! Bold, decisive actors on the stage of life, this crew. (Though even they were not brash enough to cut in line for coffee, content merely to give their order to the barista with a sharp edge on it, as though the barista, and not damaging storm winds, had personally cut the power lines outside these people’s homes before clocking in for a thankless day of work.) 
     We did not personally witness anyone employing Strategy #3 — Be Prepared — because these people are already in their nuclear fallout bunkers solemnly lamenting the downfall of humanity and cracking open a ten year supply of beef jerky, no doubt thinking, “Ha! And they said I wasted my time before Y2K.” As you sow, so shall you reap.

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