Say your co-workers found out halfway through the day it was your birthday. And say, being the wonderful colleagues that they are, they felt compelled to put together a present for you on short notice. What would they cobble together?
If one of your colleagues is Molly Traxler, she goes to her car and gets a Norfin Troll dinner tray table.
You may have questions at this point. What was this doing in Molly’s car to begin with? And why did she also have a pencil box, googly-eyed frog’s head magnet, a buckeye and one small, unclothed baby doll as well? And just how much joy can a Norfin Troll dinner tray table bring to one’s life?
Dave Powell demonstrates the transformation from non-Norfin troll existence to Norfin Troll existence below.
Dave, without tray table. He is sad.
[A heavenly chorus sounds from above.]
Dave, miraculously cured of leprosy.
Now you might be thinking to yourself, Hey, Dave and Ben sort of look alike. Well, you’re not alone. Frequently Dave and Ben are mistaken for one another by customers, Pub waitresses, even occasionally a co-worker or two. Just last week, an elderly customer at Dave and Ben’s place of employment came up to Ben and this exchange occurred:
CUSTOMER: Say, I need to tell you something. [He leans in very close to Ben] You failed me.
BEN: Excuse me?
CUSTOMER: You didn’t do your job.
BEN: I’m sorry, what was it that I did?
CUSTOMER: You remember this? [Customer holds up a book] You remember? I wanted two. You only ordered me one.
BEN: I’m really sorry about that. [Tries to reach for book so he can see if it will jog his memory] I don’t know–
CUSTOMER [pulling book away]: No, no, you didn’t do your job. Now I know no one likes to hear that and no one wants to get yelled at, but that’s what it comes down to.
BEN: Sir, I’m very sorry. Can I order you–
CUSTOMER: Ah, ah, ah — you failed me. It’s already been taken care of. The nice lady back there took care of it. But that’s because you didn’t.
BEN: Well, I’m glad it was taken care of.
CUSTOMER: All right then.
Thoroughly confused, Ben walked back to the information desk and saw Audrey. “Did you just talk to that man?” she asked. “Kind of a strange bird.” “He told me I failed him. No wait, he told me” — Ben leaned in uncomfortably close to Audrey — “‘You failed me.'” “Well,” said Audrey, “he was a little confused. He couldn’t remember what he ordered or how many, so I just told him we’d get him another one.”
Ben looked up the book in the computer and found the man’s special order. The initials on the order? DP.
Over at the Voreblog Readers Forum, talk has turned from unpleasant customer service experiences to celebrities who were either pleasantly down-to-earth or unpleasantly jerkish. Who has a good celebrity story? We want the dirt. Shovel it here.