movies, television

Thoughts Going Through The Heads of Customers at Half-Price Books Last Night Around 9 O’Clock

  • “Why are those two actually browsing the VHS rack?”
  • “They look awfully young to be so technologically illiterate.”
  • “Are they really going to buy those VHS tapes? Why don’t they just empty their wallets into the toilet and flush?”
  • “What’s VHS, Mommy?”
  • “Are they really going to spend two dollars on National Lampoon’s European Vacation when there’s a four-movie set of every Chevy Chase National Lampoons movie for just a dollar more?”
  • “Maybe they think the store is going to pay them to buy VHS.”
  • “I bet that couple still has a TV with bunny ears.”
  • “Look away, my child. Eyes so young should not behold a sight so shameful.”
  • “Do you think they know about digital converter boxes?”
  • “I bet their cell phones are bigger than their shoes.”
  • “Next they’ll be asking where Bobby Brown’s Don’t Be Cruel is on cassette.”
  • “What’s that smell?  I think those people groping the VHS tapes just ate a pound of refried beans.”
  • “Damn, I think they got the only copy of Sliding Doors.”
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