There’s a scene from The Burbs when the neighborhood visits the shadowy Klopek residence to find out who exactly they are and what exactly they are doing in suburbia. (Spoiler alert: They are crazy people who are incinerating bodies in their basement.) As Tom Hanks and crew prowl around the Klopek living room making awkward small talk, Bruce Dern’s character takes a picture frame off the mantle and says to Hans Klopek, “Pretty girl. Friend of yours?” “No,” Hans responds, “it came with the frame.” This gets a guaranteed laugh out of Ben’s mom Donna every time.
Astute readers of this blog will notice that our banner photograph of a cityscape “came with the frame,” as it were. This may lead you to several different conclusions:
- The Vores really don’t know what they’re doing when it comes to this blog thing.
- The Vores are distant relatives of the Klopeks and serve sardines to their guests.
- The Vores kill people and incinerate their bodies in the basement.
None of these conclusions could be further from the truth. The truth is that we currently lack the capability to post our own photos because our Macbook and digital camera are in possession of the Deer Park police department. They ended up there after they were stolen two months ago but subsequently recovered. Because of ongoing legal proceedings, we cannot have them back yet. When we do, you will see pictures.
It’s hard now to recall exactly what it felt like to have our house broken into. We always thought it was the kind of thing that happened to other people, until we became the other people. There’s something about seeing your drawers and clothes and boxes thrown all over the floor, knowing that some faceless stranger has been standing in your bedroom going through your stuff, that’s very violating, to say the least. We were lucky: neither one of us was home, and our brave cat was unharmed because he hid under the bed. Aside from a rare coin collection and jewelry, nothing was taken that was irreplaceable, and most of those items have now been recovered.
After this happened, we figured we should introduce ourselves to the neighbors, who may have jumped to certain conclusions after they saw a police car sitting outside our house for three hours. Erin made them cookies and assured them that our friends aren’t the kind of people who try to kick in our deadbolted front door at noon on a Friday. Stories were exchanged, hands were shaken. We regained a little foothold in trust. What if the Klopeks had done a similar goodwill tour? They just might’ve gotten away with it.