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Entries from January 2009

Friday Recommends: Food

January 30, 2009 · 1 Comment

the_omnivores_dilemma_a_natural_history_of_four_meals-119187091223317    41bgerqvwsl   "Eat This, Not That! Supermarket Survival Guide"

 

One of our New Year’s resolutions was to eat healthier. We’ve made this resolution before, with mixed results. This year we made the resolution less from a vague desire for general self-improvement and more because of a writer named Michael Pollan. His book, The Omnivore’s Dilemma, made both of us drastically rethink our diets. If ignorance is bliss, Pollan is a buzzkill. 

Ben, who works in a retail establishment which sells books, has always been conflicted about The Omnivore’s Dilemma. The book intrigued him, but the customers who asked about it did not. They were evangelistic about the book. They would grab Ben’s arm and insist he read it. They were generally what one might stereotype as “crunchy” or “granola” (or “crunchy granola“).  They spoke of produce the way people usually speak of rapturous sexual experiences. ( “The fresh squash I ate last night was nothing short of orgasmic.” Or, “You would not believe the tomatoes I just grew in my garden. I want to make love to them.”) Ben wanted nothing to do with them. Also, the words “raw food” scare him. We’re perfectly comfortable with our packaged food, thank you very much! 

If you’re brave enough to crack open The Omnivore’s Dilemma, however, chances are good that you’ll change your mind about not just packaged food, but also corn, meat, Chicken McNuggets, organic food, the FDA, food labels, mushrooms, hunting and gathering and, last but not least, your local supermarket.

About that Chicken McNugget: Do you know how many ingredients are in one? Thirty-eight. Chicken is one of them. But, as Pollan writes,

To go from the chicken (Gallus gallus) to the Chicken McNugget is to leave this world in a journey of forgetting that could hardly be more costly, not only in terms of the animal’s pain but in our pleasure, too. But forgetting, or not knowing in the first place, is what the industrial food chain is all about, the principal reason it is so opaque, for if we could see what lies on the far side of the increasingly high walls of our industrial agriculture, we would surely change the way we eat.

 

Pollan devotes himself to scaling those high walls. He goes to CAFOs (Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations) and slaughterhouses. He visits a Wendell Berry-like farmer in Virginia named Joel Salatin, who invites Pollan to slaughter chickens in the killing cones on Salatin’s land, Polyface Farms. ( “It seemed to me not too much to ask of a meat eater, which I was then and still am,” Pollan writes, “that at least once in his life he take some direct responsibility for the killing on which his meat-eating depends.”) And he spends the final third of the book learning to hunt and gather. He forages for mushrooms, shoots a wild pig and collects Bing cherries from a neighbor’s tree (which he feels no guilt about once he learns about usufruct). 

Among the many things Pollan shows us along the way, several stood out:

  1. The word “organic” doesn’t inherently mean “better.”
  2. The words “free range” shouldn’t bring to mind rolling, verdant fields stretching to the horizon.
  3. Mad cow disease was the result of cattle being fed other cattle. We conveniently forgot and/or never learned that. (Who wouldn’t go a little mad eating your own species?)
  4. Americans eat one-fifth of our meals in the car.
  5. Farmers are fond of the saying, “There’s money to be made in food, unless you’re trying to grow it.”
  6. Food industry marketers are mostly evil.
  7. We will never, ever gut a pig.

 

Pollan’s follow-up to The Omnivore’s Dilemma, In Defense of Food, attempts to condense all of this wisdom into practical dietary advice. Pollan is so good at condensation he boils it down to seven words: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” This seems disarmingly simple, but as 2009 has already taught is, simple is not easy. Take the first two words: “Eat food.” Well, we all eat food, right? Except how much of what we usually eat is actually food? What about microwave meals? Canned soups? Pop Tarts? They’re all … kind of food. But have you looked at the label? How many of those ingredients can you actually identify?

Pollan observes how these heavily processed foods are all located in the middle of the supermarket, whereas things that actually look like food — vegetables, fruit, fish, dairy — are on the periphery. So we’ve been shopping the periphery more lately, making a delicious roasted vegetable salad two, maybe three times a week, feeling pretty good about our diet until Pollan tells us that a more “radical” strategy would be to not buy food at a supermarket period, but rather at Findlay Market or directly from a farmer. Of course, the most radical strategy of all would be growing our own garden. (Just not in January.)

Erin, who has twice now been a vegetarian (her longest stint stretching from the end of college in 2002 until May of 2004 when she went to Italy and had prosciutto for the first time), has always felt a tugging at her conscience about the mistreatment and killing of animals. It wasn’t until she read The Omnivore’s Dilemma that she finally felt okay about eating animals so long as they were treated well, fed well, and killed well (i.e., with the utmost respect and reverence for the provision their lives offer). Salatin claims (and his customers testify) that his animals, which are allowed to roam freely in green fields munching on various grasses and acting like animals are meant to act instead of cooped up in an overcrowded cage, actually taste fresher and better. That means a more chickeny chicken, a beefier steak, and richer yolks for your morning eggs. Salatin and Pollan actually seem to make the case for the eating of animals to promote the cycle of life — so long as they’re the right animals coming from the right places. After Pollan, Erin is now ready to find a farm from which to buy eggs and chicken (and perhaps the occasional pork tenderloin). 

As we tiptoe into food radicalism, Eat This Not That: The Supermarket Survival Guide has the virtue of meeting us where we’re at. Given that Kroger and Biggs are still our major food suppliers, we’re trying to make smarter choices about what we buy there. ETNT offers, in colorful, simplified fashion, a comparison of the good and bad (or bad and better) options in the supermarket aisles. Ben will never give up his beloved cereal. But he might give up Basic 4 now that he knows it includes partially hydrogenated oils and “a huge helping of sugar” (13 grams). The better, if more cardboard-tasting option would be Fiber One Raisin Bran Clusters, with the same amount of sugar to appease Ben’s sweet tooth but less calories and fat and three times the fiber.

We’re not sure what Michael Pollan would make of ETNT (we suspect he’d approve), but we recognize that changing your diet, like changing any habit, will be incremental. Instead of going straight from A to Z by forsaking microwave pizza for arugula, it’s more realistic to go from A to B, then B to C, until you’ve gone so far that you can’t fathom your old philistine diet but can also envision a new and increasingly healthier one. 

Pollan concedes that eating healthier will cost more. But what have we sacrificed for cheap food? Our long-term health. Our connectedness to the earth. Our sense of community. (How many of us still sit down at a dinner table with friends and family anymore?) What have we lost by having the choice to pay 99 cents for a slab of beef at McDonalds (though slab implies something hearty and substantial)? “Eating industrial meat takes an almost heroic act of not knowing or, now, forgetting,” Pollan says. Our food culture, he suggests, has become heroic at not knowing.

There are many who are far ahead of us on the path away from industrialized food (what Pollan broadly calls “the Western diet”), and we recognize that we’ll never get away completely. But we’re at least at letter B, if not even C or possibly D. We think we eat healthier that the average person, but who doesn’t think that? Have we become one of “those” people Ben used to be leery of, given to waxing rhapsodically about tofu and sprouts? We’re not going to grab you by the arm, but if you, like us, are trying to eat more real actual food, we recommend (enthusiastically!) The Omnivore’s Dilemma as a great starting point.

Categories: Friday Recommends · books
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Readers Forum: The Lost Editions

January 29, 2009 · 14 Comments

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Who’s ready to spend eight thousand hours talking about us?

 

Given how enthusiastic but perplexed we are about “Lost,” and given that we know many of you are in the same boat, we’re experimenting this week with a Lost Readers Forum. If it catches on, we will use Thursday posts to recap and discuss the previous night’s episode for the remainder of the season. If it tanks, Ben will just use Thursdays to write about the Utah Jazz. You’ve been warned.

So what did we learn during last night’s episode, “Jughead”? Let’s recap:

  • Daniel Faraday is in love with Charlotte (or so he says).
  • Other women Daniel Faraday was in love with and/or has conducted experiments on (Theresa Spencer) are in a vegetative state. 
  • The episode ends with blood pouring out of Charlotte’s nose. Well done, Daniel!
  • Also, there’s a hyrdrogen bomb on the island.
  • Every time Miles Straume (Ken Leung) has a scene we cannot help but picture him as the karaoke salesman who sings “Jesse’s Girl” in Keeping The Faith.
  • Richard Alpert is, according to Juliet, “old.”
  • Regardless of what year he’s in, Richard Alpert apparently spends the first two hours of his day applying eyeliner.
  • Desmond and Penny named their son Charlie, which is a nice nod to Charlie Pace but also a creepy nod to grandpa Charles.
  • Erin continues to heart Desmond, making several comments about how she likes it when his shirt hangs open. (When Ben does this around the house, however, she just says, “Do you not know how to button a shirt?”)
  • Desmond learns that Daniel’s mom (Ms. Hawking, we presume) is in L.A., which sets up how he and Penny will reunite with the Oceanic 6 so they can all return to the island. (But what will they do with Charlie? Day care?)
  • Michael Imperioli rocks a fierce Fu-Manchu mustache.
  • And oh yeah, Charles Widmore grew up on the island. He can also snap a man’s neck in two.

We also got a little context on Richard Alpert’s visit to young Locke when he asks Locke to pick from several objects on the table, one of them being the compass (which Locke does not pick, to Alpert’s dismay).

Other than that, we were nonplussed by the episode. According to a fan poll on Lost Wiki, though, the majority of voters gave it an “A+.” We were among the 15.8% who gave it a “C.”

So what did you think? Or, the more appropriate question we should be asking every week, What did we miss?

 

UPDATE: Tad Smith sees a likeness between a young Charles Widmore and a young Frank Sinatra. You be the judge.

joness5  the-essential-frank-sinatra-the-columbia-years

Categories: Television
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Snuggie Week Continues, and Ends.

January 28, 2009 · 1 Comment

As part of this blog’s ceaseless efforts to capture the Snuggie zeitgeist, we must note today that USA Today, Time and Good Morning America have all covered the Snuggie recently. Did you know that there is now a Snuggie drinking game? (Participants chug every time a Snuggie commercial airs after midnight.) Or that there is a Facebook Snuggie Fan Club? Or that at least one commentator has wondered aloud if Snuggies are not in fact a “Garment of Satan” ?

And oh have there been parodies.

At this point we’re pretty sure the Snuggie has saturated popular culture more than anyone thought (or would want) possible. We apologize for any role we may have had in its power play for world domination. Let us never speak of it again.

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Scooter Thomas Goes Snuggie

January 27, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Several of our readers commented that Snuggies Inc. is missing out on the feline demographic by failing to produce a cat-sized Snuggie. Could it be that one size really does fit all, human and feline? We decided to put it to the test.

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Scooter Thomas in a Snuggie, take one.

 

Even with a cat of Scooter Thomas’s girth, the answer seemed pretty clear that one size does not fit all. Nonetheless, this has not stopped Mr. Scooter T from wearing a Snuggie about the house.

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Scooter Thomas attempting (admirably) to fill out a human-size Snuggie.

 

Now that Scooter Thomas has officially come out on this blog by allowing himself to be photographed, he is demanding that every post feature a photo of him. The megalomania of that cat knows no bounds.

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Local forecasters are throwing around words like “significant ice event” and “walloped by snow” as a winter storm system sweeps through the greater Cincinnati area. You know what that means!

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Categories: Scooter Thomas
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Go Snuggie!

January 26, 2009 · 16 Comments

A few weeks back we mentioned that one of our highs in 2008 was this infomercial about Snuggies (The Blanket That Has Sleeves! ©). Take a moment to watch it again now:

 

Shortly after that post, we were contacted by Chet Hornberger III, Vice President of Marketing & Sales for Snuggies, Inc. He told us Snuggies was looking to break into the Cincinnati market, especially among white married bloggers. Would we consider becoming spokespeople for his product? And perhaps take some pictures of us doing everyday activities in our Snuggies, to show our readership what a practical yet fashionable product it is?

To which we replied, “Would we!”

 

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Read in bed with a Snuggie. (Cats love them!)

 

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Play board games in your Snuggie!

 

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Rock out with fellow bloggers (and basset hounds!) in your Snuggie.

 

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Fact: Snuggies will increase your score in Rock Band by 78,000 points.


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Pump gas in your Snuggie!

 

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Cheer on your favorite sports team in your Snuggie!

 

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Go for a run in your Snuggie!

 

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Go swinging in your Snuggie!

 

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What’s more fun than a slide? Answer: Sliding in your Snuggie!

 

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Go grocery shopping in your Snuggie!

 

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Stand in very long check-out lines in your Snuggie!

 

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Snuggies and dangerous equipment go together like Kid and Play.

 

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Snuggies make oil changes a breeze!

 

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The Snuggie goes great with formal wear.

 

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Make a statement at your next dinner party.

 

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Warning: Small children are occasionally terrified of Snuggies.

 

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Snuggies demand respect in the boardroom.

 

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A “Lost” party isn’t a real “Lost” party until someone puts on a Snuggie.

 

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Snuggies will not restrict your movement during a lightsaber duel.

 

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Blood stains may not wash out of your Snuggie, so don’t get killed in one.

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So what conclusions did we draw after giving our Snuggies a rigorous test drive? One: They are ill-suited for running. Two: They are ill-suited for virtually any physical activity. When dormant, however, one can appreciate the virtues of the Snuggie as a blanket that does in fact have sleeves. Three: Ben was angry it didn’t have a clasp in the back. Erin suggested that would go against the core principles of the Snuggie, as if she had a clear philosophical grasp on what those core principles were. Four: Wearing a Snuggie in public will win you some looks.

So what’s our verdict? Let’s just say we won’t be giving our Snuggies away, as originally intended when we began this experiment. And that book light is pretty sweet! Therefore we are, unapologetically, proclaiming our full-fledged membership in, yes, The Cult of the Snuggie.

 

Categories: Uncategorized
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We Would Not Want to Sell Real Estate on This Street.

January 24, 2009 · Leave a Comment

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[Russell Bates/Ross Parry Agency; nytimes.com]

Categories: Uncategorized

Special Reader Participation Edition of Friday Recommends

January 23, 2009 · Leave a Comment

The Oscar Nominees Readers Forum includes more than a few recommendations to Academy Voters on what they should (or should not) endorse this year. So we thought to ourselves, instead of us offering a recommendation today, why don’t you recommend something to the Academy Voters. It could be that they burn their copies of Slumdog Millionaire. Or that Underworld: Rise of the Lycans be recognized as a Best Picture nomineee. Or you could recommend that fellow Voreblog readers watch your favorite movie of all time, even if that movie is Snake Eyes. Whatever. Just recommend something.

Or you could recommend something else. Like for your neighbors to stop letting their Great Danes poop in your yard. Or for Howie Mandel to not be given any more TV shows. Or for Sigur Ros to not allow their songs be played on “Private Practice.” Or that mammas don’t let their sons grow up to be cowboys. Or for that two-timing bastard Ricky to take a long walk off a short pier. 

Basically you can recommend anything. Just do it here, as opposed to commenting on this post.

Go.

 

p.s. Last night’s best Tracy Jordan line: “That’s a white myth like Larry Bird or Colorado.”

Categories: Friday Recommends · movies
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What’s a Fistfight Among Friends? A Special Oscar Nominees Edition of The Readers Forum

January 22, 2009 · Leave a Comment

The analysis and prognosticating over this year’s Oscar picks has already started. We’re turning it into a Reader’s Forum, so feel free to chime in here. What are YOUR thoughts on Slumdog Millionaire? Just how long WAS The Curious Case of Benjamin Button? Exactly WHO will restore that warm tummy feeling to Matthew Leathers before he throws himself in front of a speeding car? SHOULD a Best Picture be loved (Shakespeare in Love) or respected (Saving Private Ryan)? And how long WILL it take before Andrew Cashmere says something completely inappropriate? Comment now!

Categories: movies
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In Defense of Slumdog Millionaire

January 21, 2009 · 28 Comments

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The question Jamal can’t answer: Why do its critics hate Slumdog Millionaire so much?

 

We have decided to postpone our Best of 08 movies post a bit longer, possibly until sometime shortly before the Oscars (February 22). When we do finally write that post, it will likely be in the spirit of Matthew Leathers’s Best Of post, aptly titled “Movies Released in 2008 That I Enjoyed at a Somewhat Above Average Level.” 2008 offered no Royal Tenenbaums, no Children of Men, no Brokeback Mountain or The English Patient or National Treasure or There Will Be Blood. (One of those was a joke.) We walked out of no theater this year thinking, “We just witnessed a great movie.” But we left thinking there were plenty of good ones. And the best was Slumdog Millionaire.

Now, if you’ve already read Mr. Leathers’s post, you’ll know that he possesses an all-consuming hatred of Slumdog. “It played like Mumbai 90210,” he writes, adding “I’d pair it up with Crash as the most overrated Best Picture winner if it goes that far.” ( “Okay, okay, it’s starting to sound like I hated this movie,” Matthew says. “I didn’t, I swear.” But then he adds, “The sole mission of my remaining days on Earth will be to disembowel Danny Boyle.”*) 

We could not agree more with him on Crash. (Ben has not hated a movie so much since Magnolia.) And we generally loathe those good-to-mediocre movies that garner surprise Best Picture nominations and harness word-of-mouth support and underdog status to take them straight to the top. Crash is a perfect example. So is A Beautiful Mind. (So too would have been nominees like The Cider House Rules, Chocolat and, although we liked it, Juno.) Many people lump Shakespeare in Love with this group, as if it were a tiresome gnat flitting about the face of the water buffalo Steven Spielberg World War II epic Saving Private Ryan. But how many times have you watched Saving Private Ryan? Do you pop that one in for fun on a Saturday night?** It’s an impressive film meant to be commemorated more than watched. For once, the Academy made the right choice on that one.

We’re afraid Slumdog is being painted with the same brush, especially after winning so many Golden Globes. Matthew links to a blistering review which is not without certain merits. (How did Jamal get picked to appear on the Hindi version of “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire”?) The most damning charge its critics level against Slumdog is that it’s sentimental and tends, amid certain brutality, toward simplistic, feel-good fantasy, culminating with the ecstatic dance party during the end credits. We loved that sequence. It’s a little silly, certainly far-fetched. But it worked. It’s a reminder that what you just watched was, after all, only a movie, unabashedly romantic and manic in its desire to entertain. Anyone who didn’t expect Jamal and Latika to reunite during the climactic finish was not paying very close attention during the first 90 minutes. This wasn’t going to end like American Beauty. (Or, say, Closer.)

The movie is a bizarre mash of styles, but that’s part of its charm. Telling the story of a boy’s unlikely rise from the slums through the framework of a glitzy quiz show? We thought of two analogues, one trivial and one a bit more substantial. The trivial is Cliff Clavin’s immortal appearance on “Jeopardy!” For anyone who hasn’t seen it, Cliff — a mailman — crushes a neurosurgeon and lawyer on the popular quiz show because all of the categories (Civil Servants, Stamps From Around the World, Beer, Bar Trivia, Celibacy) match exactly Cliff’s limited expertise. (Unlike Slumdog, Cliff loses in Final Jeopardy because he bets all $22,000 on a category he knows nothing about.) 

The other parallel is with Salman Rushdie’s novel Midnight’s Children, which last year won the Booker of Bookers. Midnight’s Children uses a fantastical premise — that all 1001 babies born in the first hour of India’s independence possess special powers, from time travel to gender bending — to tell the story of India’s history through one of those babies, Saleem Sinai, switched at birth and relegated to an upbringing of squalor. Saleem’s special power is telepathy, accomplished through a prodigious schnozz (he is referred to throughout the novel as “the nose”) which grants him the ability to “sniff out” and communicate with each of the other children. Midnight’s Children has echoes of Bollywood in it, but it transcends those to say something profound about India. The parallels to Slumdog are numerous, from the affectionate descriptions of Bombay (now Mumbai) to the Westernization of India (the Hindi “Millionaire”). Likewise, Saleem’s rivalry with the baby he was switched with at birth and their alternate fates resembles Jamal and his brother Salim’s criss-crossing, ultimately divergent paths. Both sets of characters are inextricably linked, dependent but at odds with one another. 

What do Slumdog and Midnight’s Children ultimately have in common? They are both fairy tales. They intermingle history and fantasy through personal narrative. Their outcomes vary (Slumdog is certainly more optimistic), but there is something fanciful in each that is, if you give in to it, winning. (We’re not going to bring Cliff’s “Jeopardy!” appearance back in at this point and argue that “Cheers” dabbled in magical realism, so let’s just drop all comparisons there and move on to the final paragraph.)

We’ll leave the question of whether or not Slumdog deserves “Best Picture” to the Academy Voters, unreliable as they may be. But we hope Slumdog’s detractors will criticize it for what it is, not what it is not. When Jamal phones a friend and Latika, watching the show by the side of the road because of a traffic jam, realizes he is calling her, we didn’t wonder whether she will race back to her car in time to answer the phone. (Everyone knows she will.) By that point we had turned off the part of our brain which regards the moment with ironic detachment. We were simply riveted by what would happen next.

 

[photo: www.postgazette.com]

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* = We made that last comment up. Forgive us, Matthew! We now welcome you to bring it in the comments.

** = The question of whether a Best Picture should be loved or respected is best saved for another post. There are plenty of Best Pictures — Schindler’s List comes to mind — we would not want to curl up with on a Saturday night, but we can freely admit they deserved to be Best Picture.

Categories: books · movies
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Dear Man Who Let His Great Dane Poop In Our Yard,

January 20, 2009 · 10 Comments

No, no, no, don’t feel obligated to clean that up! We know you’re a busy man with things to do, places to go, widows to swindle and upstanding citizens to hoodwink. You’re obviously far too important a person to be troubled with cleaning up Marmaduke’s herculean crap. (And what a clean-up job it will be! Lord have mercy!) I mean, really, who are we to put our yard in your dog’s way? Let us do the dirty work. Yes, that’s us watching you in the window. We’re waving but don’t feel obligated to wave back or anything. It’s our way of saying, “Thanks for being a good neighbor! You’re helping us get a head start on fertilizing our lawn for next summer, and we appreciate it.” Maybe you and ol’ Duke could stop back this weekend and fertilize the rest of it for us. What’s that? You think you’re free? Great! We’ll look forward to it! After we buy ourselves a shotgun! Bye neighbor!

sincerely,

The Vores

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